The hexagram of fellowship: Step out of inner circles

Many successful companies are started by a few close friends working hard together, also many failing companies begin their downward spiral when bosses start giving coveted positions to relatives.

Choosing the right people to work with is important. This is why I Ching has a hexagram dedicated to this issue, guiding us who would be our best partners. That hexagram is 同人. Let’s use this hexagram as a unique lens to view today’s world.

The image is the Sun blazing in the open sky, symbolising fellowship, which illuminates everything, and warms the entire earth without favouritism.

I’ll explain below how ancient I Ching gives us timeless criteria for choosing partners, co-founders, allies, and even nations to walk with. In an age of endless networking events, family offices, and geopolitical blocs, its advice feels more relevant than ever.

“Fellowship at the gate. No blame.”

门: Gate, door, referring to the gate of a school, or the doorway of a master. 

同门: The same gate, referring to people who study under the same master.

This line celebrates the very first and purest form of alliance: classmates, fellow disciples, people who sit side-by-side learning the same craft.

Think of college dorms where future giants are born. Larry Page and Sergey Brin at Stanford, Bill Gates and Paul Allen at Lakeside School, or the WhatsApp founders who worked together at Yahoo before striking out on their own. They share late-night pizza, argue over code, and dream without hierarchy. 

Even when the startup fails (and most do), something precious remains: lifelong trust and stories worth telling grandchildren.

The judgment “no blame” is understated I Ching praise. In the brutal arenas of business and politics, simply not getting hurt is already a small victory.

“Fellowship within the clan. Trouble and difficulty.”

Once we leave school, the temptation is strong: surround ourselves with family, old friends, or people who already think exactly like us.

宗: The ancestral temple, the clan, the tight faction.

A founder hands the best sales territory to his nephew. A CEO promotes only those who have a similar background. A husband and wife decide “let’s run the business together” without ever separating roles clearly.

Sooner or later trust erodes among the wider team. Capable outsiders leave. Innovation suffocates. The divorce papers and the bankruptcy notice could arrive the same week.

The I Ching is blunt: this path leads to 吝 – difficulty and constriction. What feels safe is actually the slow poison.

“True fellowship: first wailing and crying, later laughter. Great armies overcome obstacles and come cross together.”

This is the heart of the hexagram—the true, battle-tested alliance.

At first there is friction, misunderstanding, even loud arguments (the wailing and crying). You come from different backgrounds, speak different languages (literally or metaphorically), and threaten each other’s habits. Yet something larger—a shared mission, a historic opportunity—forces you to work through the pain. After the tears comes the laughter of genuine comrades.

Look at the U.S.–China relationship over the past forty years. Two nations that could not be more different in values, history, and governing philosophy. Trade wars, spy balloons, and heated rhetoric make the “wailing” phase very public. Yet when both sides focus on concrete problems—global supply chains, technology—they keep finding ways to meet, compromise, and move the world forward. The idea of a G2, however imperfectly proposed by Trump, reflects the potential of this difficult but fruitful fellowship.

A negative example is Europe’s postwar choice to tie its strategic destiny almost exclusively to the United States. Sharing the same cultural roots and democratic rhetoric feels like “clan fellowship” (see #2). The result has often been a slow loss of independent voice and painful bills when interests diverge.

“Fellowship with people in the open field. Success.”

This is the guiding judgment of the entire hexagram, the core message, pointing us to 野 – the wild, open country beyond city walls, beyond clan boundaries, beyond comfort zones.

This is where the brightest future lies: partnering with those who seem strange, distant, even threatening at first. The wilderness is vast, winds are strong, and you will argue. But the alliance that forms there benefits not just the partners—it lights up the entire world.

Hexagram 同人 gently destroys our illusions.  

Classmates make a beautiful starting point. Family and old friends feel safe. But if we never leave those circles, hardship is guaranteed.

Real fellowship, the kind that changes industries and sometimes changes history, is forged in the open field with people who are not like us—who challenge us, stretch us, and occasionally make us cry before we laugh together.

Step out of inner circles into the wilderness. That is where the Sun truly shines for everyone.

If you found this article helpful, you'll love the full e-course, Before You Charge: 4 I Ching Lessons on the Slow Path to Real Strength. Explore the full program to get the complete, actionable framework that teaches you wait wisely, choose allies beyond the clan, guard relentlessly against internal rot, and let authentic power gather slowly.

Get it Here: MSL Master e-courses